Nyquil

My nickname my freshman year of college was Nyquil.  Unfortunately, I think I lived up to that today.  I tend to get a little loopy on Nyquil.  Maybe it's because I don't drink alcohol any other time.  Maybe it's because the drug seems to last longer in my system.  Maybe it's all in my head.  In any case, I took Nyquil last night so that I could sleep even through the pain of my sore throat.  I slept good.  My friend wishes I would write down my dreams, and though I had a good dream last night, I can't retell it.  My drug-fogged dream is allusive in the light of reality.  Almost 8 hours of sleep later, I woke up and went to training.  As you can imagine, I still wasn't very awake.  I remember almost nothing of training (they gave me a manual, so it's like the same thing anyway).  And, for one of those rare occasions in my life, my throat still hurt so much that I was quiet for most of the day.  I'm sure some people wish they could see me in a quiet state.  You snooze, you lose.

After training, I came home and slept.  I slept good again.  I walked in the door, slipped off my shoes, dropped all my stuff, and crashed into bed.  I barely had the sense to turn on an alarm, which I definitely ignored later, but I didn't care because I was out.  Even when I did wake up again, I was so out of it that I almost didn't go to Medium Town, TX.  Alas, business called me there, and I didn't get home until almost 5:00pm.  There went my plan of getting things done in my classroom.  There went my utopian ideas of getting almost everything ready today.  I got nothing really done.  Everyone seems to be worried about me too.  They didn't get to see me this morning, so they had no idea what state of mind and physical weariness I was in, so I got phone calls from all my team members checking up on me.  Now I feel like a slacker.  I don't know how much I would have gotten done in the classroom anyway.  Mere conversation was a blur, and shopping---forget it.  I'm not much of a shopper anyway, but I drudged through the stores, and it took me twice as long to find what I needed to.  Bleh.

In honor of the memory of my performance today, I have decided not to repeat the Nyquil experiment.  I shall suffer through the night, hopefully being able to sleep, and wake up tomorrow with less of an excuse to look like I'm having a hangover, or like I've been up for three nights in a row.  (At least I didn't slur today--or at least, I don't think I did.)

Highlight of the day:  I got to talk to a very dear friend of mine from college this evening.  She's always been an uplifter of mine, and even though she has some distress in her life right now, she still managed to pick me up.  Thanks, Beautiful!

Last Free Monday

Yup.  Next Monday is when school starts.  Nervous yet?  No.  I don't have time to be nervous.  That's for teachers who have passed their first year and don't have to take pointless hours of training.

I got my windshield fixed today.  My poor friend had to run me around town, but I no longer have a 15 inch crack threatening to disrupt my driving.  When I got the car back, I got in and started it, thinking "something's wrong."  Somehow I felt both taller and smaller at the same time.  I didn't figure it out for several minutes; then it came to me.  My new windshield has a sun visor--you know, the blue strip at the top.  It's a pretty blue.  I didn't have that before.  It has totally changed my perspective.  I feel invisible, even though the strip only covers the hair at the very top of my head.  Very cool.

Anonymous ISD had convocation today.  It was unexpectedly good.  Superintendant Joe made the exact same speech with the exact same power point that he made last week to the new folks, and the only thing that kept me awake was the fact that the poor girl next to me had to go to the ladies' room really badly.  Then the speaker got up.  She was a slim, tall, elderly lady dressed in an elegant shell-colored, completely feminine suit.  Looking at her, we thought:  She's cute, but this is going to be the most boring convocation ever.  So not true.  She was hilarious.  We kept waiting for her to get serious, but it never happened!  Story after story of humor.  She had some good pointers hidden in among the hilarity, but if every day of training was like this, I would sit on my numb bum for hours without complaint.  She informed us that we need to have some reminder of humor, or something that alleviates our day set right in front of us.  Her example was a cheerleader Barbie (I kid you not).  It kicked and twirled and raised its arms and cheered on Superintendant Joe.

Last week we were informed that Tuesday (tomorrow) would be our day to work in the classroom.  For a while, I was told that I'd actually have Tejas Lee training that day because it was the only day with available time.  I was okay with that--it's not the guys' fault that they loaded up the new teachers' schedules with tons of training that we aren't even using right now.  Then that was cancelled, so I again thought I'd actually have a day where I could work in my classroom and actually get some work done that needed to be done.  Wrong!  At the end of the day, my principal "reminded" me (how can I be "reminded" when I didn't know in the first place?) that we have media training tomorrow.  It should only be half day, but it ruins my plans completely.  This is not just Anonymous ISD's fault.  This is the school system.  We're expected to have everything ready for parents to come Friday night, plus have all our lesson plans turned in on Friday, but when in sam hill did we have time to do all that?  Another new teacher and I joke that we're going to have a pajama party and just spend the night at the school to get things done because the couple of hours we get on a daily basis aren't enough.  Besides that fact, I had been planning on going to Medium Town, TX tomorrow to get some supplies that just can't be found in Small Town, TX.  Medium Town is a little over half an hour away.  I had been hoping to leave at 8:00am and get back by 10:00am so that I could work the majority of the day in my classroom.  Nope.  I have to be in training (again--it's not stuff we're using right away; it's not absolutely necessary right now; plus, it's overwhelming our brains so that the panic mode is beginning to set in, and we don't have the time to deal with the pressure much less get the things we need to done) until 11:30-12:00ish.  Grrr...  It is rare that I become inarticulate, but some things just call for it.

I took the convocation speaker's advice.  I found humor.  I came home and turned on some Brian Reagan.  The world was made better again.  I'm also excited because my air conditioning broke yesterday, and if you talk to anyone who lives in Texas in August, you'd understand why this is a travesty.  I lost sleep last night, which ended up not killing me because I stayed home yesterday and slept due to my worsening sore throat and cold.  Cold?  In summer?  Yep.  Anyway, it was about 85 degrees in my apartment last night.  Thanks to the apartment, however, my air conditioning is fixed.  I felt the difference immediately when I came home.  Say hello to sleep.

Highlight of the day:  I don't know.  The convocation speaker was definitely my favorite highlight.  Brian Reagan is a close second.  The sun shield is probably third.  My as-of-yet-unmentioned highlight would have to be:  my classroom is beginning to feel like my classroom.  My brother and sister-in-law helped a lot on Saturday, but I'm beginning to own it in my mind.  And though it's not perfect, it's a far cry from where it used to be.

It's a Small World

Let me start out by saying that new teachers are prone to get sick because their immune systems have not yet built up to all the germs shared by the kids.  Why, oh why, then, am I sick before the kids come?  I have barely over one week before the students are here, and I am fighting a sore throat.  Under the direction of a co-worker, I went and bought some Emergen-C to try to build my white blood cells up, and let me tell you that no matter what they say about flavoring on the box, regular vitamin pills are worth the investment.  I'm up writing my blog now because I am procrastinating drinking the off-color drink that is sitting in front of me.

So, small world.  Yes, it is.  I just moved to Small Town, TX to work at Anonymous ISD, and I volunteered to work this morning at Family Fun Day.  New teachers are told to volunteer for everything their first year, but it's so overrated.  We don't have the time, the knowledge, the stamina to volunteer.  When people ask us questions, we have to say, "I don't know."  Not only do we sound like broken records, but our confidence level drops a few levels after a morning of not knowing anything.

Anyway, I met a woman today (please remember that I'm in Small Town, TX), and when she found out I'm a bilingual teacher, she told me her husband is from the Dominican Republic and subbing for the district.  I said, "No way!  That's where I grew up!" which naturally promoted a discussion about the Dominican Republic and the awesomeness of it.  Granted, Small Town, TX has lots of Hispanics, but they are mostly Mexican.  I expect Dominicans to be in Big Town, USA, like Miami and New York.  Anyway, in order to create the relationship so that I might one day use this man as a convenient sub for my class, I accepted this woman's invitation to go bowling with them tonight.

Shortly thereafter, the Fun Day ended, I went home, took a small nap with my sore throat for company, and waited for my brother to call me.  He and his wife were on their way down from Big City, TX to help me out in my new apartment and classroom.  Much needed help, I might add.  Eventually they called me, I forced myself to get up, and me and my sister-in-law went to my classroom.  I need all the help I can get.  :)  I feel better about the classroom.  It still needs a lot of work, but we got a lot more organized today, thanks to my awesome family.  Now I get to focus on more important stuff, like rules and procedures and Open House and first day script and other teacher jargon words that I'm still trying to figure out.

The district, in their energy/money-saving efforts, decided to cut of air conditioning to our building today.  If we wanted it, we'd have had to turn in a work order.  Unfortunately, we weren't informed of this ahead of time, so school was hotter than butter in a frying pan on the stove.  Survival was key, however, and we finally left, ate, and played with my brother's puppy before I went bowling.  Small Town Bowling's air just happened to be broken.  After all day of working in a sauna, I decide to go play in a boiler room.  Two games.  My, oh my, it was hot.  But it was fun.  That's what's important, right?  It was interesting to revisit Dominican culture, since this woman's husband sister had arrived yesterday for a visit.  It amazes me, the difference between Dominican culture and here, as well as the difference in classes within the DR.  I can assure you, right now, that this girl and I were not at the same class level.  I should have become a psychologist, but then I'd have to have way more problems before I became one, so I'm happy in my choice for teacher for a little while.

Highlight:  My sister-in-law picked up this Spanish easy-reader book with snake characters and called it "cute".  I proceeded to read a translated version for her.  A snake calls itself bad.  Fffffff.   It goes downt he hill and tells his mother that.  She says he's not bad, he's growing.  They look down his tail has turned into a jingle bell.  He goes back up the hill.  His friends ask if he's sick.  He says no, gut he's still growing.  They all pull out their "jingle bell tails".  Tttttt.  Tttttt.  Quite humorous, if you ask me.  I've never read of snakes making those noises, even in Spanish.  My highlight was also quoting Brian Reagan excerpts with my sister-in-law:  a rather enjoyable pasttime of ours.

Now on to the ever-growing-worse Emergen-C!

Why, Oh Why, Do They Torture Us?

I feel like the school system is built to frustrate new teachers.  Texas has absolutely killed me the last three years, just trying to get certified.  Now I finally have a job, for which I'm terribly excited, but the district has us new teachers in training until 3:30 every day for two full weeks before school starts.  I go to training, then spend as much time as I can in the classroom.  My new principal has a philosophy--it's really a good philosophy; it's just frustrating right now--that teachers need to go home at rest.  So he closes the school at about 5:30.  That'll change a little next week, but for now it leaves my room in utter disarray.  Meanwhile, I'm getting overloaded with information daily which causes me to feel underprepared for the whole year and overwhelmed before I can actually get my room set up.  Not only that, but some of the information is repeated.  Today, for example, was the third time in a week that the brand new teachers have heard a lecture about communicating with parents.  All well, but we could actually be doing something productive and necessary instead of stressing over all the things we need to do that do not include sitting around on our bums all day.

In addition, Smart Me decides to go and volunteer for things, such as the family fun day that Anonymous ISD is having tomorrow morning.  I won't be able to work in my classroom until 1:00 anyway, but I could at least use the Saturday to rest.  Instead, I choose to open my rather opinionated mouth and volunteer to work.  Luckily, I have an awesome recruitment in the form of sister-in-law that will come and help me tomorrow.  My brother is coming, too, to help me set up technology in my apartment.  They are truly a blessing to me.

Bedtime again falls way later than it should, but the down time was worth it.  I feel like I'm back at camp:  high energy, low sleep, with a struggle to stay awake at meetings.

Highlight:  I'm enjoying reading kids books that I'm getting for free from the school library, including a very humorous one about a kid that learns some valuable lessons in his search to be perfect.  The methods are somewhat odd and include wearing broccoli around his neck for a day, not eating for a day, and doing absolutely nothing for a day (it's harder than you might think).

Starting out

I finally got overwhelmed.  I got a teaching job a little over a month ago, quit my job, switched cities, and traveled to various spots around the country before ending up back at my new little apartment--the first time I've been completely on my own.  Even with all that, however, my step was lighter, my energy higher, and my joy exuding...something that had not happened for about two years.

No, it wasn't until today that I finally started to sink a little in my mind.  My classroom is in shambles, and I have to have it up and running by next Friday night for open house.  School starts the 23rd of August, but instead of letting us new teachers who have no idea what we want/need/are doing finish our classrooms, Anonymous ISD has us in training.  Don't mistake me, some of it is really good stuff.  It's just not being put into practice fast enough for us to remember any of it.  Meanwhile, books and teaching supplies that people think we might want are being thrown at random into our already tornado-strewn classrooms at a rate faster than the economy's decline.  Training until 3:30, and then classroom work until we drop out of sheer exhaustion.

So I, being the smart one, finally leave school at about 8:00 pm, my body aching in every part and hungrier than a bear waking up from hibernation.  My priorities:  shower, eat, drink sweet tea, start a blog.  Mmmm...how did that last one get thrown in there?  I finally took all the advice of various people in my past and decided that if I'm going to survive this year, I'm going to need an outlet.  Most likely it will be full of sarcasm.  Most likely I won't write every day, or even every week.  But I will get my necessary outlet.  No importa if no one reads it.  It's for me.  My first blog for me.  Amazing feeling, really.  Who knows?  Maybe it will get turned into a book someday.  The frustrations of first year teaching are just beginning.  It wasn't my classroom that overwhelmed me, although that has enough problems of its own.  It was the thought of the curriculum (the only thing we aren't receiving training on), and the centers, and the materials, and the assessments, and the pressure to raise every boy and girl in my class to a level that they most likely aren't ready for.  I was ready for the challenge...until they started "training" me.

It's been said that new teachers are a precious commodity because we bring excitement into a career that gets dried out as the years go on.  Right now I possess that excitement and ideas galore.  I just hope it doesn't wear off.  I keep hoping that if I remind myself of my struggle the last two years, I will be able to conquer any depression, overwhelmedness, or panic.  We shall see.  Only time will tell.

My highlight of the day:  (I'm trying to have a highlight every day so I can keep positive)  The windshield repair man almost gave me a premature heart attack.  I have a crack in my windshield that has grown from about 9 inches to about 14 in the last couple of days.  I had called glass places in July, and the best price I found was about $200 + tax.  I was leaving town, so I didn't order anything, but I called the same glass place today and asked him to order it.  Since I've had trouble with people giving me differing prices about different things before, I asked him to verify the price.  He told me it would be about $425.  I rarely lose my ability to talk, but this just happened to be one of those times.  After a long silence he said, "Nah.  I'm joking."  I slowly began to breathe again and gave a nervous laugh.  Then he said, "Ma'am, are you okay yet?"  "My heart's still slowing down."  I failed to tell him that I'm 24 and way too young to get a heart attack.  There are certain professions where joking should be banned.  Like airport security (it really shouldn't, it just is), plumbing, and windshield replacement work.